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Power of Pessimism
Why A Passion for Positivity Is Overrated
From time to time, I find myself holding space for someone who really needs to let go of the emotional burden they are carrying. Creating a safe space, where they can step away from the crushing pressure to put on a brave face. A space where the pragmatic platitudes that they use to mask their disappointment or anxieties, can be left at the door.
And a place, where they can finally give themselves permission, to stop covering up, and express what they really think and feel.
But for some of us, it’s not so easy to by-pass the mental check point that frisks our thoughts and feelings for accuracy and acceptability. And just how difficult we find the process of opening up, usually depends on what we perceive as the potential consequence, to ourself and others, if we allow our unedited opinions and emotions to be freely expressed.
In most cases, my clients appreciate that when it comes to our coaching sessions, honest answers are always the most accurate and acceptable answers regardless of their subjectivity. And as a result, they feel safe to express themselves in whatever way feels right in the moment, without fear of judgement.
However, I recently became aware of a client’s avoidance of honest answers in favour of unconvincing acceptance and false optimism. Despite the difficult situation he was facing, he began avoiding the deeper explorations that he had previously valued and adopted an artificially cheerful pattern of sweeping things under the carpet. As a result, I became curious to discover what might be causing him to hold back. After sharing my observations, I was surprised to discover that it was the result of an organisational pressure. A pressure that was causing him to consciously censor his communication.
The pressure to be positive.
This pressure concerned me. But not because I object to positivity. Quite the reverse.
What troubled me was my client’s acceptance of his employer’s perception that a permanent state of optimism was somehow a professional virtue and that anything less than that was perceived as “problem finding negativity” and “an anxiety inducing” character flaw.
Once I became aware of this corporate passion for positivity, my Reticular Activated System was primed and I noticed examples of it almost everywhere I looked. And the more I experienced it, the more curious I became about why so many people seem so willing to accept it without question.
Because the most capable, successful and resilient people I have ever worked with don't think like that at all.
Before making any major decisions, my most successful clients always identify potential challenges and risks. And before taking any steps towards achieving what they want, they prepare for what might get in the way.
This could be described as pessimistic. But it’s also realistic. And a highly effective strategy for personal and professional success.
The Philosophy of Pessimism
The recognition of the value of pessimism in planning and performance is not a new idea.
Back in 300 BC the Greek Stoic philosophers developed a highly effective strategy for success which included a specific mental exercise called optimistic pessimism.
Despite being fundamentally optimistic about human potential, the Stoics shared a very realistic view of their world. In an attempt to ensure that they were fully prepared for the challenges that ancient Greek life might throw at them, they developed a practice of intentionally imagining the worst possible outcomes before they happen.
By accepting the potential for setbacks or disaster, the Stoics removed the disabling effects of shock and enabled themselves to fully prepare for the future. This meant that they could never be caught off guard by betrayal, failure, or tragedy, as they had already mentally prepared for it.
In addition, this approach enabled them to achieve clarity about what they could influence and as well as recognising what was beyond their control. And this enabled them to appreciate and value what they had.
By systematically meditating on worst-case scenarios, the Stoics achieved a state of psychological invulnerability that contributed to their incredible productivity and historical power. As a result, their perception of positivity was not an adopted state viewed as an alternative to pessimism, but a genuine feeling that arose from being fully prepared for bad fortune as well as good.
The Stoic philosophers recognised that far from creating anxiety about the worse that could happen, their approach to pessimism actually reduced it. Because the things that we prepare for rarely have the same power to overwhelm us than the things that catch us completely by surprise.
This ancient belief in the power of positivity is also supported by findings in modern psychology, where researchers Julie Norem and Nancy Cantor found that many high performers deliberately Imagine potential problems before taking action. They called this process Defensive Pessimism but it clearly follows the same process as the Optimistic Pessimism of the Stoics.
What interests me most about Defensive Pessimism is that it challenges a widely held assumption that exuding confidence in any situation is the secret to achieving success. And that positive expectation is the foundation of self-confidence.
Norum and Cantors research suggests something quite different.
Because confidence comes from experience of successful outcomes.
But self-confidence comes from believing you can handle things regardless of the outcome.
And that’s what pessimism prepares us for.
Why Pessimism Matters
This distinction becomes particularly important when we consider the opposite of Defensive Pessimism such as hubris, overconfidence and assumption.
The belief that because something has worked before, it will continue to work as long as we remain optimistic about it, or that because we are experienced in something, we are therefore prepared for everything, is clearly flawed.
In fact, the most emotionally and psychologically damaging experiences that we struggle to come to terms with, have rarely resulted from just the experience itself.
More often they have resulted from an assumption that we made about ourselves, an expectation of others or about our situation.
The experience of loss is certainly painful. But the pain that we continue to ruminate over, the one that clouds our judgment, limits or choices and reduces our perception of what is possible, results from something else.
It comes from the impact of shock, from disbelief, from something we feel we should have anticipated or could have avoided and didn’t.
Ironically, the pressure to avoid discussing the situational reality or worst-case scenarios for fear of being pessimistic is exactly what we become when we fail to do so.
We can become pessimistic about life not only as the direct impact of an event but as a result of the unexpected nature of the experience and our inability to prepare ourselves for it.
We lose faith, and the ability to trust. We doubt ourselves or have difficulty trusting others. We develop precisely the sort of limiting beliefs that the Stoics philosophical approach was designed to overcome.
In addition, the pressure to suppress our inner thoughts and feelings and the fear of letting go of that positive façade, also prevents us from gaining the clarity that we need in order to avoid repeating the same unsuccessful patterns of the past.
Reflection
It’s clear that the principle of preparing for the worst is a powerful process of achieving success.
And yet when we find the possibility of even considering what might go wrong too distressing to contemplate, it’s a sign that our positivity is masking the inner fears and doubts that require our attention.
Blind faith and a refusal to consider anything but an optimistic expectation of success, in order to push forward with something that fills us with fear, is setting ourselves up to fail.
Because our inner fear is there to warn us. It’s a survival strategy designed to keep us safe.
So, masking that fear with positivity won’t reduce the threats, or our brains’ repeated attempts to alert us to them.
But exploring the possibilities to overcome them will.
Before you go…
What thoughts and feelings are you hiding beneath a veneer of positivity?
What challenge would become easier to bear if you could trust someone enough to express what you really think and feel?
And if you had the opportunity to find ways to overcome potential challenges, what possibilities could open up for you if you did?
"You have been reading The Power of Pessimism, written and conceived by Susan Doherty.
This original work remains the intellectual property of Susan Doherty and may not be reproduced or presented as the work of another without permission."
Susan Doherty is a professional coach, development specialist and practitioner of NLP. Originally trained as a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner by Richard Bandler and as a hypnotherapist by Paul McKenna, she specialises in working with motivated clients who are driven by a desire to understand themselves and others, courageous enough to challenge established thought patterns and ready to explore new possibilities.
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